Do you know anyone who has not had some sort of challenge with parents?
I don't. And that is as it should be.
There are two basic kinds of relationships with our parents: supportive and nurturing or challenging and struggle. Sometimes it is a combination of both. These kinds of relationships can be with one or both parents. This can run the gamut from abuse to overly protectiveness. We grow up, carrying the scars of childhood, harbor resentment, anger and even hate against one or both parents. Our early experiences in life form our perspective about ourselves and our self worth and becomes the root of our behaviors, coping or otherwise.
When in the midst of struggle with our specific set of challenges, we often can't see the bigger picture or the blessings hidden within the travesties of youth. Instead, we live our lives thinking negative thoughts about ourselves and those that perpetrated our pain. These misinformed beliefs color our life, lead to unhealthy behaviors, health problems, chronic stress, anxiety and so forth. Our birth code design often amplifies specific patterns of behaviors.
We have a hard time seeing that it's all an opportunity to grow beyond where we've been, to learn how to balance our survival needs with self actualization and then show others how to transform their lives. It's a natural state of evolution, an opportunity to experience cause and effect and conscious choice making.
What if, instead of dwelling on the traumatic events of younger years, we focus on what was good about our past?
What if we were to see the people who provoked us like an actor or actress in our personal play? They played supporting or antagonistic roles that made our life more interesting and prodded us out of our comfort zone. We have people in our lives that push our buttons, provoke us, anger us and also have people who soothe, support and guide us. The thing to remember is that we are all in this together.
What if the other person, or you, are playing a part you agreed to before you came to Earth, but don't really like the role? That's a recipe for a lot of inner strife.
You're invited to look at your past and the people in it, with new eyes. Step back and see all the players, including you, as part of a great, complex Broadway play, complete with each person cast as hero or villain. Each of our individual plays overlap and intersect other people's plays so that for some people, you are the hero and for others, you are the villain or a supportive character. See your past as a series of necessary steps that bring you through a series of choices and create the life you experience today. Your cast provided you an opportunity to grow and expand your wisdom and life experience.
You're invited to forgive the people of the past by understanding that they meant you no harm and were playing a role that may have been painful for them to play. Greg Braden, in Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer, has a method to forgive those in your past, reclaim your power and release the feeling of having been a victim.
It goes like this: Find a private space and a time alone.
"I bless ......(the names of those who are suffering or have suffered. It could be you.)"
"I bless.......(the name(s) of who or what has inflicted the suffering. Be specific, if possible.)"
"I bless me in the witnessing."
Say it aloud. Repeat and modify as necessary until you feel a shift in your emotional energy. It may take quite a few repetitions to finally get through your walls and release the hurt.
If you want to explore your past for their blessings, you're invited to schedule a session.
Continue reading with Part 3: Do We Get Another Chance?
Spiritual Teacher and Healer