How many times have you wanted to creatively express yourself through an artform, or simply tell a friend or your partner how much meaning they bring into your life?
But an inner force makes you remain silent, and your dream of creatively expressing yourself fades back into obscurity.
You think that you'll make a fool of yourself if you open your mouth and say the words you long to say. Or your creation will be a flop, and nobody will understand it. And it won't be anything like what successful people create.
This affects your sense of value and soon, you give up and don't even bother. Even though inside you the fire still burns to do something magnificent, being squelched too many times slowly puts out your fire. Life becomes dull, and meaningless.
This is an important phenomenon to notice for two reasons.
Our desires are what keeps our inner fire burning. This is particularly important as we move into our wisdom years, and it takes more effort to have robust health.
Secondly, how often our desires are suppressed can lead to a lack of self-value and worth. This is a core belief about ourselves that affects every aspect of our lives.
But, you say, you have too may obligations. Your partner's health is failing and you have to take care of him or her. Or you have financial obligations. You can't afford to take the time or the money to nurture yourself.
Is that really true? Or is it just the familiar voice in your mind that reminds you that you should have done something differently, that you could have done a better job, that others are better than you, that you'll be letting important people in your life down?
Are the comments of the inner voice really true? Or do they serve to just keep you stuck?
We all have the power to silence the little, well-meaning inner voice. We can choose to see ourselves or a situation differently. We have to have the courage to take a new action, even if it is tiny, like having a glass of water instead of the cracker or taking time for a walk in nature or a candlelit luxuriant bath.
It's not easy, especially after a lifetime of thinking a certain way. But to retain vitality as we mature, it's important to put your attention on what makes your heart sing and what brings life force into your being.
Next time, when the little voice says you'll be letting your partner down if you don't do something with him and you really want to work on your pet project or simply have time alone, listen and honor your inner urge and do what brings you joy. The more you practice, the easier it becomes.
Make a practice of noticing when you surrender what you want in favor of someone else. Notice how it makes you feel.
There is a saying that the past always repeats itself. That's true. Unless you make a different choice.